All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
there is glitter all over my balls
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
