she was so not down for the gang bang
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
