It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
