I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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