New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
