we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
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