so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
