I murdered the dance floor call the cops
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I could fuck to npr.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
