I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
