We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
