So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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