Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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