Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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