And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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