I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
