He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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