He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
