I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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