So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I forget how to act sober
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