and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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