Your dad touched me again.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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