found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
