C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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