is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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