Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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