GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
wow bdsm is so cute
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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