Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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