theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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