People with herpes should wear stickers.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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