He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
