Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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