i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
