I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
