But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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