sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
