I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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