i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize