Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
