is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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