Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
