omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
