just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
