we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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