His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
