would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
