I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
