I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
