Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
