I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
