Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
