how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
