it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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